bulldog dominatrix intimidator

A repost from my happy commuting days in LA.....

This morning in traffic, I was cut off my a massive black SUV. The nameplates on the back announced it as a Bulldog Dominatrix Intimidator SE. The SE is significant, as this denotes the upscale model whose interior is upholstered in baby seals and the wood trim on the dash comes from the rainforest.

Of course, traffic was stopped so the behemoth had no where to go. I maneuvered along side to see a blonde woman in a suit with what appeared to be a cell phone in each hand. Or perhaps she was sending a fax. Possibly to herself. She gave me a sheepish grin of apology, which is more than one usually gets in LA.

My mind flashed back to a novelty song I wrote in 1997 as a joke. It's interesting to me that I haven't changed a word since. My apologies to Eliza Doolittle fans worldwide:

All I want is an S-U-V
Great big tall thing so I can see
And get 5 m-p-g
Oh, wouldn't it be practical?

Bolt a brush guard upon the grille,
Add a roll cage in case we spill
While climbing Beverly Hills
Oh, wouldn't it- be practical.

Oh, so practical with the luxury
of all-wheel-drive
It might come in handy when
I'm stuck on the 405

Call it brilliant or just dumb luck
Getting rich dames to drive a truck
See Grandma run amok
Believing that

It's practical.
Practical, practical
Practical.
Anything - but practical

(Photo credit- Canyonero Motors)